are you creating…

…or are you just following instructions?

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as i’m pet sitting right now at a friend’s house, i saw this spiral bowl i made once in a hand building pottery class a few years ago. it was my first hand building project i ever built and was a bit of a ~journey (anxiety, stress, and, of course, some tears… you know, the usual creative process) and the result is imperfect in all its glory.

i gifted it after that class to a friend who appreciates it more than i ever could. when i see it, i’m reminded of a process i didn’t like: sure my hands built it but the project was not my idea, i merely followed steps laid before me.

since i’ve been experimenting with hand built ceramics more this year on my own with air dry clay, i got to reminiscing a bit and then wrote this essay in relation to all of this.

i think when it comes to ‘creating’ anything, the key is to actually… have the idea. you can get ~inspiration from somewhere but the specific idea to make it your own and the process you go through to build it must be your own. following instructions may be a good way to learn but if you stick to the ‘steps’ and rules too closely you’re not actually being creative.

two hands

“symbol of life” (2025)

for my birthday this year, a few friends and i went to wet paint pottery for a chill, creative night and i picked out this hand vase to paint.

i decided to paint this hand to look like my own hand and wrist [ocean wave tattoo and all] as a “symbol of life” to celebrate another year of being alive. i don’t typically wear red nail polish but i do wear the colour red a fair bit so i thought it was appropriate.

“activist” (2024)

i found this ceramic hand in a thrift store for a few dollars. it was definitely in rough shape and not a very nice colour——but the fist drew me in as some kind of symbol of activism and i immediately knew i wanted to upcycle it.

so i gave it a fresh paint job to look like the inclusive pride flag with the black base, brown stripes, and finished it off with a lot of dots in the pride and trans flag colours.

southern california / nov 2024

taken with a Pentax k1000

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i landed in san diego around noon and found myself solo wandering around ocean beach for the afternoon til sunset. there’s an unexplainable feeling i get on days like this——like standing underneath or on top of the pier and watching the waves relentlessly come as surfers try to catch them. if they miss the wave, sure enough they try for the next, or the next. this is kinda like life, isn’t it?

there’s something about being alone in a new place that makes you pay attention to the smallest things.

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remote work life feat. a view from my san diego airbnb desk

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a day at the zoo

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after checking out of my airbnb, i had a couple hours to spare before my train to los angeles. of course i wanted to go to the beach but since i had all my stuff with me, i decided the scenic lookout point at sunset cliffs would suffice.

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the train

(taken somewhere between san diego and los angeles)

end of summer / 2024

taken with a Pentax k1000