are you creating or are you just following instructions?

as i’m pet sitting right now at a friend’s house, i saw this spiral bowl (photos) i made once in a hand building pottery class a few years ago. it was my first hand building project i ever built, was a bit of a ~journey (anxiety, stress…some tears, you know, the usual), and the bowl is totally imperfect in all its glory.

i gifted it to a friend who appreciates it more than i do. personally, when i see it it brings back memories i don’t like. the project was someone else’s idea… i just followed their steps and used my hands to build their idea. since i’ve been exploring hand built ceramics more this year, naturally i got to reminiscing a bit and then wrote this essay in relation to the experience but also something i think is key when it comes to ‘creating’ anything.

following instructions may be a good way to learn but if you stick to the rules too closely you’re actually using a totally different part of your brain that isn’t creativity, and it won’t benefit you later on.

—mal

the hands

“activist” (2024)

i found this ceramic hand in a thrift store for a few dollars. it was definitely in rough shape and not a very nice colour—but it was making a fist and it had a hole going through it for something like a pencil, paintbrush…or maybe a flag?

so i bought it and gave it a fresh paint job to look like the inclusive pride flag with the black base, the multi coloured brown stripes, and rainbow dots.

“symbol of life” (2025)

for my birthday this year, a few friends and i went to wet paint pottery for a chill, creative night and i picked out this hand vase to paint.

maybe i have a thing for painting hands…?

anyway, i decided to paint this one to look like my own hand, ocean wave tattoo and all. i don’t typically wear red nail polish but i do like the colour red so i thought it was a suitable solution.

since i did this for my birthday, i decided the hand is a symbol of life—and another year of being alive for it.

today and tomorrow, music saves

18x24in

(mixed media/collage)

just years of concert tickets, autographed cd jackets, a few festival cruise ship key cards, and memories that will never fade packaged up neatly into some form of art

—

i had an extra 18x24 poster i used as the base and then arranged everything loosely and taped it together to form the collage. tape seemed less permanent than glue so i could adjust things if needed and since i knew it was going in a frame i wasn’t worried about it being overly secure.

then i made some letters… “today and tomorrow music saves” is a quote i had on a random tshirt years ago that i always liked. i don’t have that shirt anymore—so this was a good way to let it live on.

done ;)

southern california film / nov 2024

all photos taken with a Pentax k1000

i landed in san diego around noon. after grabbing lunch and doing a bit of work at a cafe near my airbnb, i changed into a swimsuit and found myself exploring ocean beach and the nearby streets solo for the afternoon til sunset.

there’s an unexplainable feeling i get on days like this—like standing underneath or on top of the pier and just watching the waves relentlessly come as surfers try to catch them. if they miss it, they might get the next, or the next. this is kinda like life, isn’t it?

remote work life feat. a view from my airbnb desk in san diego

a solo day at the san diego zoo

after checking out of my san diego airbnb, i had a couple hours to spare before my train to los angeles.

naturally, i wanted to go to the beach but since i had my (carry on) luggage with me, the scenic lookout point at sunset cliffs will suffice.

life in transit

(taken somewhere between san diego and los angeles via train)

late summer film / 2024

so i bought this camera (Pentax k1000) off facebook marketplace… these are a few of that first film where i was just messing around a bit