heartbreak dreamer

a digital poster in four different colour variations i made for fun about ten years ago [that i’ve obviously long forgotten about until now]. i did this as a visual to accompany mat kearney’s song “heartbreak dreamer.”

the small text in the background are the lyrics of the spoken part of the song and a part i’ve always liked.

attempt no. 3

i did this as an application project for an MFA program at School of Visual Arts and is a visual narrative story about a weightlifting competition from an athlete’s perspective.

• i did the planning/direction, photos, written story, and design; all of these things on their own weren’t ‘perfect’ but as an interdisciplinary project where the purpose was storytelling, it did that well

• deliverable: 6x9” coffee table style book

• read the full story here

(I was accepted to start in the summer of 2020 but decided to forgo the opportunity because of COVID-19).

“the sport of weightlifting can be cruel. An athlete only gets six attempts on the platform in a competition—three attempts of two different lifts. Mistakes and failed lifts occur in training and even in competition but it's the mental strength to get back up for that third attempt that brings success.”

(cover text)

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about the process:

after writing my written story quickly, i thought about what to do my visual narrative story on for a good week with no success [and admittedly i was starting to panic at the lack of good ideas]. then, a day or two before i had a weightlifting competition that weekend, it hit me.

naturally i had very little time to plan much but i had a vision. i asked one teammate to be my subject, knew what i wanted the overall message to be without writing the actual story, and had some ideas for journalism-style POV photos rolling around in my head. no sketches, no storyboarding, no notes, just running off lived experience, anxiety, adrenaline, and some caffeine.

——

i’m not a ‘professional photographer’ but i had a low end digital SLR camera and a 50mm lens and i had a vision.
i’m not a ‘professional writer’ but i like creative writing and storytelling and i had something to say.
i can design editorial-style books and ‘zines in my sleep. i didn’t consider anything else.

we were given a few prompts to choose from for both a visual narrative story and a written story but we had to use the same prompt for both. i knew both of my stories would be partially non-fiction and so i chose the prompt a mistake that as made.

mistakes felt relatable, perfectly flawed, and human.
that’s the kinda story i like to read as well as create.

——

i showed up to the competition that day with my competition gear over one shoulder and my camera and creative mind over the other, taking care of business (the project) first in the session right before my own.the photos i got and my own experience from that that day somehow aligned despite factual differences to create the final story——something I and many athletes have experienced often.

[the story is mostly true, except for the parts that aren’t]

do what you can with what you have

nov 14 / 2025

Firstly, I’ve wanted to share a bit more about this project for awhile because there is some kind of back story to where and why the idea came from that I think might be interesting. I don’t know if I expected the first bunch of copies to sell so rapidly [raising $420 after $295 in printing costs for @7thgenrising] hence why I printed a conservative 25 first.

I printed another small run and there are still some from the second print run at Alt Haus, Lucky Bastard Distillers, and Nefelibata in Saskatoon so if you’re from here and this intrigues you or it seems like a good gift for someone you know, you know where to go.

Now I’ll get into it.

The entire idea and process started a little over a year ago. I had a bunch of what I’ll call “stim drawings” or “stim doodles” I did throughout the end of summer and fall 2024 just as a passive, for-me art activity. It was pretty meditative and I soon became addicted to… drawing lines.

Then last December, after being laid off for the third time in five years, I had an idea to make a colouring book out of the drawings to sell because maybe the meditative part would translate to colouring and non-artists could see what I mean when I say art is a form of therapy. [Plus, I needed a way to make money, of course].

I made the first book in January of this year from those initial drawings and after a a lot of edits (I redrew them all digitally at least twice) and prototypes, it was good [enough]. I knew I could do it better though… so I did that for the spring/summer. The process for the second one was a lot more efficient and actually enjoyable and I sold a handful at some summer markets with positive feedback.

Naturally, this meant I should make a third and a couple situations brought me to the idea of the community collaborative book:

1. Still without a job, it was at this point in the year when I was getting tired of working in total isolation.

I’ve been a designer for 15 years and for most of those years, my design projects were FOR someone, WITH other people, and usually had some sort of specs and confinements. I’m a designer by nature and work better with rules—a concept, guidelines, a plan, a theme, you get it. Without any of that I have too many ideas and can get overwhelmed as my creative mind truly never quits [it’s the creative AuDHD curse]. Plus, as much as this might surprise people’s perceptions about autistic people, we don’t ALWAYS want to be alone and we like connection just like anyone and there is absolutely such thing as too much alone time even for me.

So, I wanted to do something that might actually get me out of this isolation station and maybe give me the confidence again to meet people… but I’ve learned that doing a lot of art and design events where there’s socializing involved takes more of a toll on me than it does an allistic person. The act of creating with people [whether in private/online or as a group in person] has always been less draining than just generic socializing over drinks.

2. Selfishly, I wanted a newer design project for my website that was for someone, wasn’t totally self-inflicted, and showed a little more of my creative direction and organizing / planning skills.

This is not talked about much, but I know that people can be quite prejudice looking at portfolios when hiring designers. It seems like they care less about how the designer thinks and care more about results and what’s most ‘eye catching’ or ‘aesthetic.’ Design has become too marketing focused and not as a communicative, functional tool to make things… better. It’s nobody’s fault, but this is where I’ve noticed the design industry and hiring headed. People don’t have time to be curious and dig deeper—they just want to see results. A lot of designers who have aesthetic portfolios with picture perfect mock ups for brands that are trending, making them look like amazing designers. The thing is, they might be a great designer when their ideal client within your interest falls in their lap, but when the project isn’t your favourite, are you as great?

So, I wanted to make a project I could say I did from idea to end, handled the sales, and worked with other people on.

3. I wanted to make something that would have a real, tangible benefit for people other than myself.

I’ve always said “do what you can with what you have” in terms of charity, aid, donations. I think I learned this from the band Hanson during the walk era in 2007 when I felt like I was contributing to something good just by walking one mile barefoot before some shows and buying a pair of TOMS shoes, let alone eventually making a banner for some of the walks i went on. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something and it was something I could do.

Right now, I really don’t have a lot of money to give, I’m a minimalist and am always decluttering so I don’t have much to donate when I see people asking for specific things, and I don’t always have the social battery to volunteer places in person.

I can make books, especially this style of book, pretty well.

And so the idea for a not-for-profit book to help the community with the community helping me make it was born.

I chose to print it locally [Mr Print in Saskatoon] for a few reasons: quick turn around without shipping times, proof availability, easy back and forth communication to get things right, and, of course, supporting local businesses [especially businesses like printers who are likely being overrun by online printing companies].

I’m certain there’s tons of printers online with tons more paper samples available but some things are worth sacrificing for certain projects when supporting local makes sense (like a lighter paper weight but paper that felt good to write or colour on). And in this case, I just adapted the design consciously to not double side the illustration pages.

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Overall, was it the most perfect project ever?

Of course, not. Most things can always be better [my motto]. But I made it work with what I had, it made a lil difference, it did get me out of my isolation station / gave me a little confidence to not be a recluse, and I might just keep the series going (even with a broken finger).

—M

the rock boat no. 12 [a music book i made once ~just for fun]

this is a short editorial book i put together quickly as a keepsake following a music festival (on a boat) i went once. well, technically i’ve been on five of these boats——but this is just from the 2012 festival.

I did this as a way to organize some key music memories into something more tangible and while I didn’t sell it, I kept the book general and focused on the music and if this book happens to live longer than me, I hope someone discovers a new favourite artist in it if nothing else.

All photos are my own and lyrics throughout were selected and credited and are from bands on the boat or cover songs performed on the boat that year.

a lil life advice to music fans and/or anyone:

do the things you like to do when you can do them, capture some moments along the way, and always support your favourite musicians by buying records and going to shows.

last film

taken with a pentax k1000

unedited shots from summer + fall before decluttering and selling this camera to replace it with something i think i’ll use more. ;)

throwback project: the reckoning lyric book

in late 2011 i wanted to play with display type so i made this lil ‘zine style book for needtobreathe’s abum “the reckoning,” which was released around the same time. the project was fully self-initiated and i self published it online via a print on demand site, mainly just to print a copy myself.

a few fans contributed photos to the project (credit given in the book) and a handful of fans purchased the book as well; proceeds were fully donated to one world health, which is the charity needtobreathe supported [at the time].

weird worlds

the balance between staying within our inner world and exploring the world around us; both are important both art pieces reflect diversity, differences, and authenticity through an odd selection of colours used together. the works share a similar pattern that resembles an overview of earth.

details about each below:

process for ‘great weird world’

“weird little world”

acrylic on wood
11x14 in

about the comfort we feel from staying within our weird little world. it’s okay to be selective, but i think it’s important to sometimes let people into our weird little worlds. to me, making and sharing any of my creative work has always been a way to do this in a way that feels natural.

the title was inspired by good will hunting and the quote “we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds.”

“great weird world”

acrylic on canvas
38.5 x 23.5 in

about the power that’s in a diverse community shown visually by colours that don’t seem to ‘belong’ with the other colours… but yet, here they are, existing together.

salt water therapy

8x8 in
acrylic on canvas

…and a related story of photos.

the day after a bad day this summer, i packed up and went to manitou beach, sk for the day [alone]. it wasn’t so much a fun beach day as much as it was a necessary day for my mind. right when i got there i took my paddleboard out into the middle of the lake, attached my ankle to the board, and then jumped off and sat in a water hammock in the middle of the lake for most of the afternoon.

sometimes, i think, maybe we just need a good salt water float. manitou beach is good for this.

flashback friday: stephen kellogg and the sixers tour book

somewhere between finishing college and my last internship and getting my first design gig, i made a tour book for this band i loved purely for the joy of it (and maybe to practice my book design skills). it wasn’t a paid gig or anything but they were aware and cool with it.

i worked with a few fans i knew to submit photos and stories from each show and to help gather each setlist and i also asked the band for a favour (see the end page), and i had the books self-published to a print-on-demand site that fans could order a copy if they wanted to.

ps. it’s fun to see how design styles, trends, and my skills have changed and improved over the years——but some aspects of design really are timeless, such as good type setting.

stay uncool and one day you’ll be cool (personal project)

handmade visual journal
may to july ‘25

The title means to stop chasing what someone else perceives as “cool” or “trendy.” Do what you want, like what you like, wear what you want to…. and stop making decisions based on what might “look” cool for social media. If you stay true to yourself, you’ll be the coolest even if the things you do and like aren’t seen as “cool” to someone else.

“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with one another when we’re uncool.”

(almost famous, one of my favourite cinematic masterpieces)

a story about this project:

Immediately out of college and before my first job as a designer, I designed a lot of ‘zine style photo books from some music travel adventures I went on. It was just a way for me to keep designing things and not forget everything I learned in school, build my portfolio with more work that I loved, while I was a barista as my day job and job searched but more than that it became something that made me really love to tell stories in a visual way.

Earlier this year I was itching to design something similar——and since I went to California near the end of last year to see Hanson (yes, those brothers) four times in a week, this trip felt like something that needed a physical memory of. I had done trips like this before but it had been YEARS and doing it again brought back a lot of feels [joy].

I started to make it in Adobe InDesign like usual but about a third of the way through it just didn’t feel right. I immediately had a handful of photos printed and bought a ~letter-sized unlined sketchbook and decided to do it completely by hand: 60 pages of layout, journal-esque stories, and photos by hand, each page intentional.

I’m not sure what to even call this project. A visual journal? Handmade ‘zine? Travel journal? For me it’s just a memory to keep forever and the process was slower than digital layout so it allowed a lot more thought and reflection.

In this process, I learned a little more about what I want, what I love, and following those things is maybe the only way we can ever be cool.

---

With that said, I can’t wait to keep it forever and look at/read it just before my life ends and [hopefully] think, “I may not have done everything, but I did what I loved and made the most of things whenever I could. And I was myself.”

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tiny useless things

hand built ceramics, air dry clay
acrylics
acrylic seal/varnish

a little exploration i did to communicate a message about society, humanity, ableism, and self worth. the collection consists of tiny mugs you can’t drink out of, tiny vases of glued in (faux) flowers, and tiny buckets you can’t put water in.

all useless.

…

being a designer i’ve always tried to find a purpose and function of anything i see or make——it’s just in our nature as designers (inventors and problem solvers). i’ve also struggled with the persistent very human thoughts of, “am i doing enough?” or “am i producing/creating enough?”

art (and life) is not always about having some profound purpose and impact all the time and we don’t always need to be useful. sometimes simply existing is okay. what and how much we produce isn’t tied to our value and worth and these tiny useless mugs, vases, and buckets were made to serve as a reminder of this.

spring film / may 2025

plants, flowers, time outside, and a trip to the zoo / pentax k1000

design to organize (ceramics)

hand built ceramics with air dry clay

design is everywhere and affects everything we do, this was a personal hobby to build my own ‘designated places’ for little things around the house.

phone bed:

when the phone goes to bed, i’m unavailable. sorry, not sorry.

workspace:

the business card holder that was nothing but a happy accident. it wasn’t built for any specific thing but ended up being the perfect shape to hold cards and so a ~place was born.

accessories:

drawers and cabinets is where my things go to die. to keep things open concept but still clutter-free and organized, i made a bunch of various sizes of wavy bowls and trays to keep similar products together.

volunteer work: jr nationals weightlifting championships

in the spring, i volunteered with my provincial weightlifting association to help with social media coverage and content for the 2025 jr nationals weightlifting championships, which was held locally.

for two of the three competition days, i took videos and photos of athletes, posted videos of athletes on the main Instagram story, designed in-feed content posts for the podium in each weight class, many of which were shared, and many videos were turned into highlight lifts for reels.

see below for some of the visuals i created from the event.

maybe you just need the beach?

january 2025
air dry clay, canvas, acrylic, joint compound, and ~one million seashells)

just a fun adventure when i missed the ocean in the depths of winter

report to the community — a throwback project (2012) and one where i thought a little differently early in my career

dimensions when folded 7x10 in; poster dimensions 21x30 in

the report to the community was a project my department (central marketing and communications) did at usask every year that summarized some of the bigger news stories across campus from the past year used as a marketing piece to give out at campus and community events.

we often did it like a typical brochure/booklet but this year when i worked on it i thought, “maybe we could make it into a poster?” books are nice if you have a place to put them but with stuff like this i think they often get tossed out once you read them. the poster format was a way to avoid having people toss it out after they read it; the hope was to have people hang it up in their office after reading it so they see it frequently without it being in the way and adding to the desk clutter.

we still wanted it to be able to fold and look like a booklet to make it easy and more traditional to handle so we used some of the brand slogan words one by one as a way to “introduce” the stories.

our six

In 2019 I was asked to participate in Spreadshow called “Our Six,” a local design show in Saskatoon. “We are all Treaty People” is a refrain for those inside Canadian Treaty boundaries. Participants were asked to design a logo to explore and visually portray the aspects of living within Treaty 6 territory and show the process work next to the final artwork as a visual juxtaposition.

This project was done on a volunteer/community basis and was delayed and then cancelled due to COVID-19.

Even though this project never saw the light of day, I still enjoyed the process [which was done over a period of a few months after observing Indigenous People in my life and their culture]. So, I suppose some good came out of it regardless.

initial sketches:

a sneak preview of the final design:

digital concepts and sketches:

a few points to the process to explain the visuals:

• I wanted to keep it simple and play with typography and three consecutive concepts emerged from the early sketches.

  • the first was the misshapen six, the scrambled letters, or the letters with the line through them. this told the story of lostness.

  • the second idea was based on the quote by Dr. Gregory Cajete. in trying to illustrate the quote, some circles and half circles emerged.

  • the third idea was based on the definition of reconciliation (the restoration of friendly relations). using some of the shapes from the second idea, i started to mess with shapes and letterforms and discovered that the U and I seemed to work together as a bridge to join the other letters together, which brought me to my final concept/design.

now that we’re old, stories will be told

18x24in, collage

when my friend asked me near the end of last year if anyone wanted a giant scrapbook she made from our hanson tour week in 2007, I immediately called dibs.

[it sounded like an art project waiting to happen]

so i took one scrapbook and curated it down into another type of collage by finding the best parts——the parts that worked to tell a more relatable music fan story——and put it into a framed art collage.

the purpose of this one is centred around the fan experience: the friendships, the jokes, the travel, the massive bank of stories we collect, and, above all, the connection we have to music that extends so much beyond the music itself.

the story behind the fire inside [version 01, 02, 03]

version one

in the summer of 2024, i made this painting one day just for me. i didn’t spend a lot of time on it and i didn’t have a plan. i just started painting, adding one part at a time and a felt like i was led by a fire inside.

it felt a bit personal, so i held onto it and named it “fire inside.”

version two

in december 2024, i met this song, broken bow by john calvin abney. the whole song jumped at me but specifically this part:

“never seen a fire, like the one inside her; even when she’s tired she could melt sierra snow
and make the golden rod grow”

the song kinda felt like music to go with that painting above, so [impulsively] i bought handwritten lyrics of the song from the artist figuring i’d find something creative to do with it all.

a month or so later, i put the lyrics in a frame juxtaposed next to the canvas. moving without much a plan [like the first version], i updated the original painting a bit and fixed some parts i didn’t love. i didn’t know what i was going to do but i knew i wanted this version to feel even more bold.

version three (the final version)

in april 2025, i had just bought this small (about 11x14 in) wood frame from a thrift store and wasn’t sure what to do with it, but it felt like a good piece for a collage.

version two suddenly had less meaning than it did when i first made it——so i took it all apart, found a new frame for the precious handwritten lyrics on their own, and started recklessly [intentionally] cutting up the canvas art just enough so that it fit onto this wood frame.

i wanted it to look like a bit of a rough mess;
that’s what the fire inside looks like.

i glued all the canvas pieces down and then added random miscellaneous stuff [paint, oil pastel, ‘zine cut outs, construction paper cut outs, etc] to the canvas in a similar way as i did for the previous two versions——led by the fire inside. i just kept adding until i felt like it could tell a whole story without me saying anything.

This piece was sold in aug. 2025. I genuinely wasn’t expecting this piece to sell because it’s a bit wild but perhaps the fire inside knows best.

“i’ll let you be in my dreams if i can be in yours”

a mini story i wrote about how we, as humans, connect. i think so often everyone just kinda wanders around in their own world, thinking about themselves, and appears in their dreams alone. we’re all just kinda on our own little islands and it feels like we are getting more and more disconnected as technology allows it.

around the same time, i was listening to the bob dylan song “talkin WWIII blues” which came about around the time of the civil war. of course i then read the lyrics:

“i’ll let you be in my dreams
if i can be in yours”

i thought about how timely it all was with the global state of 2025 and then thought about how the story i wrote kinda touched on the same idea [everyone just wandering around by themselves but bob dylan sayin’ he didn’t want do that]. so i made this small wooden framed box out of an ink transfer of bob dylan and acrylic paint as a little reminder that i’m not here alone and connection is the entire purpose.